Amolatinadate So, you’d like to meet someone with faith, someone you could come to love and maybe, just maybe, share your life with? Congratulations and welcome to a life-changing journey! Like any journey, physical or emotional, it’s vital to look after yourself along the way. The key to this? Be gentle with yourself. Amolatinadate It’s a great way of balancing your emotions and inner resilience. If you’re wondering what gentleness with yourself looks like in practice when you’re dating, here are some simple but effective ideas.

To really be gentle with yourself during Dating, when you’re meeting new people and feeling vulnerable:

Treat Yourself as You Would Treat A Friend

Dwell for a moment on the word ‘yourself’ as in ‘love your neighbor as yourself’. We tend to be much harder on ourselves than we are on our friends, mentally beating ourselves up for not being perfect. If you’re anything like me little kangaroo courts pop up in our heads all too ready to whisper things like, “You’re hopeless/weak/a social pariah/fill in your own preferred personal put-down.”

You just wouldn’t say these things to a dear friend, Amolatinadate would you? Because you know they’re not true. They’re not true about you either. Anyway we know Who had the last word on the verdict, don’t we?

Value Yourself

You can appreciate your own strengths and qualities without worrying about it being pride. Whenever I felt a bit low — if rejection came my way, or I just felt negative about myself — I would first of all shed a few tears, then blow my nose and sit down with a cup of tea, a pen and a notebook and list all the positive things I had to offer and bring to a Relationship, Amolatinadate plus any compliments I received, whether I believed them or not! Every day gently remind yourself of just one thing you like about yourself.

Go with The Flow – Amolatinadate

Let go of trying to control every aspect of every single situation in your life. It’s an impossible and unnecessary burden. When I began dating I had an underlying feeling that if I didn’t control events, I was one step away from disaster. When I learnt to loosen my anxious grip and let things develop more naturally, I and the people around me noticeably relaxed, relationships found their own pace, and the much-anticipated disasters never materialised. Be gentle with yourself by not trying to force events. ‘Let go and let God.’

Avoid Overwhelm – Amolatinadate

Dating mindfully with a view to the future is an important stage in your life. While it’s great to try out new experiences, only you know your emotional Amolatinadate balance and whether it’s the right moment to take on something else major in your life. I like the way Ecclesiastes 4:6 puts it: ‘Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil.’

It’s a situation I’ve faced. I had applied to do a journalism course. Which would mean giving up my job and moving to a new city. Then I met and started going out with someone very special to me, someone whom I felt had the potential to be part of a shared future.

Instinct told me moving away and taking on a new time and attention-sucking role would put a heavy strain on something new-born and delicate. At the same time, a self-critical voice in my head (see above) said surely it was weak to change my career plans for a mere man?!?

After thinking and praying about it, I decided against moving. In due course we married and I achieved my writing ambitions by freelance journalism. For me, Amolatinadate it was the right decision to be gentle with myself by not taking on too much at the same time.

Do The Things You Find ‘Restorative’ – Amolatinadate

Although part of me enjoyed the social side of going out on dates. I found that if I had a social night out, I needed two ‘restorative’ nights in. You probably already know the pastimes that nurture your wellbeing, things that leave you ready for what’s next.

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Here are a few extra: escapist reading/viewing/listening. Sporty stuff with a friend. Baking; a super-early night/; a relaxation podcast. Making a playlist and getting on down to it; smashing loads of bottles at the bottle bank. Having a spa evening at home. A good catch up with someone you feel better for knowing.

Underpin it All with God’s Gentleness

Soak up gentleness at its Source by making space for quiet time, just sitting doing completely nothing, no distractions. Then you might like to consciously hold. The theme of gentleness in your mind and let this lead into meditation on gentleness.