“If you wait for the most favorable moment, you will never budge; it takes a little bit of madness to take the first step.” Paulo Coelho, The Book of the Warrior of Light. As in everyday life, in international acquaintances, The First Message impression of another person, his desire to start or continue communication, depends on how we addressed him: on the chosen words, the content of the first message and its tone.

In the article “Why You Should Start Writing to Men First”, we talked about why it is worth discarding prejudices and taking the initiative of meeting a foreigner in your own hands. Today we would like to touch on the topic of the first message and talk about what is important when writing the first message and what mistakes can be made.

Why You Should Start Writing to Men First

The first message on an international dating site is a step forward, it is a manifestation of a desire to get to know each other, an interest in learning more about another person. Not every attempt to get acquainted can be successful, not every message will have the desired effect, so it is important to learn how to write interesting, individual letters that will interest a foreign man in getting to know you.

HOW TO WRITE THE FIRST MESSAGE?There can be many options for the first appeal to a man. In the first message, you can introduce yourself and tell about the purpose of your acquaintance; write why you are interested in this particular man and politely ask the question that interests you, so that it is easier for him to find a suitable answer and thereby continue the dialogue.

On the other hand, each person is individual and not everyone finds it easy, without a good reason or reason, to start talking about themselves to a stranger or answer their questions. If you feel uncomfortable asking questions or talking about yourself, in the first message you initiate, exclude personal information and questions about the interlocutor’s review  personal life from your first letter. Instead, you can make your writing original and unobtrusive! A little imagination, a little wit and attention to the man’s profile, to the interests indicated in it, to the added photos. The original message will make the interlocutor smile and attract his attention.

What should you pay special attention to when composing the first message for a foreigner?

  • Don’t forget to say hello and address the man by his first name. Each person is pleased when he feels the attention directed specifically at him. Messages without a name give the impression of impersonal messages sent to many men.
  • Consider the content of the message. What thoughts your first message is filled with should reflect the depth of your views, the beauty of your inner world. As we have noted more than once, beautiful photographs of the profile attract the attention of men – this is a visual factor that affects a man’s interest in dating. Photographs, however, cannot reflect your values, your inner world – this is the task of a thoughtful and well-written letter.
  • Emphasize the fact that you have read the man’s profile. We read the information that he indicated about himself, got acquainted with his interests and hobbies. Perhaps you are united by common hobbies, com you both go in for sports or like to read books, or maybe you are connected by a simple human desire to be happy … Pay attention to his photos, maybe he added a photo of his pet to the profile or a picture from a trip to another country.
  • The first message should provide an incentive for further communication. At the end of the letter, instead of “please tell us about yourself”, you can safely ask a question! Formulate your question in such a way that it is impossible to give a definite answer to it: “yes”, “no”, or “good”.

Let’s Tell You One Secret

Europeans often complain that Slavic women rarely ask questions or show their interest in communicating with a man. Make the passivity of other women in dealing with foreign gentlemen your advantage! 😉

  • Special attention should paid to spelling and punctuation. Mistakes made in a message written in a foreign language are understandable and excusable. An illiterate message written in the native language looks strange. Was it sent in a hurry, or errors arose due to inattention and neglect of the interlocutor?
  • Translate your message into German or English.
  • Pay attention to the tone of the message. The tone of the first letter should be friendly, polite and tactful. An orderly, imperative tone has no place here!
  • Don’t forget to say goodbye and wish you a good day!

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Errors that may affect the impression made by the first letter:

  • Wrong tone of the letter: suspicion, rudeness or implicit accusation. There are dishonorable men on dating sites, this is a fact. However, you should not hint at this in the first message to. The man you would like to meet, tell him. That he may well turn out to be a dishonorable character. Communication and acquaintance should begin and built on mutual trust.
  • The message is write and sent in Russian, without translation.
  • The letter is a biography. This is a long message, which briefly and monotonously lists all the significant facts of the biography. After reading such a letter, a man already knows everything about. A woman and it is difficult for him to find a topic for further communication.
  • An impersonal “Hello! How are you?” or the minimalist “Hi”. It can be difficult to find a suitable response to such messages and. They do not reflect a real interest in getting to know this particular person.
  • A meaningful wink – 😉

In conclusion, we would like to note that the most effective way to assess. The correctness of your appeal to another person, in our opinion, is to answer a simple question. What will be your own reaction, what will you feel and think when you receive such. A message from a man? Will it interest you, make you smile or leave you indifferent?

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