An open relationship is one where two people in a monogamous Open Relationships make a consensual decision to explore non-monogamy. The decision to keep an open relationship can mean a variety of things. From adding new sexual partners together or separately, to developing external romantic relationships.
Apparently, for the success of a relationship like this, there is no cake recipe. Monogamy, as the most popular relationship style, is not the only relationship style available. In fact, new research suggests that RussianBrides.com people in open or polyamorous relationships are actually just as happy, if not happier, than monogamous relationships. And, as the discussion has been growing, we decided to talk a little about the topic. How about we debate a little on the subject and better understand this possibility, just to avoid hasty conclusions?
In this post, we have gathered very enlightening information, which is not intended to end the discussion. On the contrary: we want to promote it! The freedom to be calls for the recognition of choices – both one’s own and others. Knowing an idea does not require you to change your mind. Your relationship doesn’t have to be open. But it is always good for the mind to be…
What does it mean to be in an open relationship?
The term “open” conveys the idea of something airy, without shackles, without obligations. In contrast, a “closed” relationship can feel almost claustrophobic ! Perhaps, at this point lies the origin of a series of misinterpretations. A so-called closed relationship corresponds to the monogamous model that, due to a series of issues — which do not fit into the discussion of this text — we have agreed as ideal, normal and better.
The open relationship, on the other hand, proposes a break in this “contract” of monogamy. It creates alternatives in which the couple can have parallel relationships, without this being seen as cheating . Which model, after all, is the best? What we must understand is that both situations allow conditions for a healthy coexistence , with mutual respect and focusing on the happiness of the partners. The best relationship, therefore, is the one that works for the couple.
“Closed” would be an adjective better applied to any type of relationship — between two or more people — that, precisely, is not guided by dialogue, the search for consensus and satisfaction of those involved. This is certainly a failed model…
Anyone who has ever been in a monogamous relationship knows that it is a difficult type to maintain… It asks for patience, learning and, occasionally, it ends . With the open relationship it’s exactly the same! It’s not easier—because, after all, no relationship is. It doesn’t mean that anything goes and that feelings are protected.
Romantic desire and affection
The big difference is in the negotiation of desire. When you embark on a monogamous relationship, you accept certain rules regarding the conduct of desire. It defines that only one person will receive your romantic affection and that sex will be exclusive with that particular partner. By circumventing these limits, the commitment falls apart.
Of course, in addition to these more trivial combinations, there are many others that each couple discusses in their intimacy of coexistence.
There is no ideal monogamous dating formula or marriage . It adapts according to the personalities involved, conceptualizing betrayal , for example, in a unique way RussianBrides Thinking in this way, we approach the idea of an open relationship. Now, if what betrayal means, what hurts and what will not be admitted, can be interpreted in different ways, is it not worth thinking about whether sexual fidelity is really so essential?
For you, it might be. For others, it may represent an unnecessary convention. What the open relationship experience shows is that one preference does not preclude the validity of another. A monogamous relationship has its problems, but it can be filled with extreme happiness . Because the couple lives well this way, they feel complete and satisfied with the choice. And an open relationship? It also faces its obstacles, but it is confirmed in living well.
The only problematic relationship is one that suffocates, that disrespects the other, that blocks and imposes rules that do not prioritize common agreement. Desires in disharmony do not bring good company… What determines what is right and wrong comes down to consensus. If he is present, that is enough for the search for pleasure to be positive.
Difference between serious and open relationship
Is an open relationship serious? In fact, when the expression is used to define a relationship of casual contacts, without major emotional involvement, we can think of it this way. However, this is not the case with open courtships or marriages, in which the idea of connection and companionship is implicit.
An open relationship can be lighter, as possessiveness goes a long way. You give the other — and yourself — the freedom to exercise desires. However, freedom requires trust , common sense, care with feelings involved and total respect for limits — yes, they are also part of the open relationship! Think about what you judge a serious relationship. Delete the monogamy issue from your list. What remains, applies to any couple.
Seriousness lies in committing to live your individuality, without hurting the other person. Never harm, do not lie, ridicule, force or manipulate wills. Seriousness is measured by the trust, honesty and sincerity involved. If there is complicity and love , what is missing for the relationship to be seen as serious?
Open relationship rules
There is no mold, a fixed pattern, that establishes rules of an open relationship . Each couple defines the course of the experience, combines conditions that they deem important, and arrives at particular consensus. Perhaps, more than talking about rules, we should talk about premises. And here we can point out two, without which no open relationship — or not — is really healthy. The fundamental premises are dialogue and self -knowledge .
Living an open relationship is a process of discovery. The conversation needs to happen all the time. As there is no ready-made recipe, those involved need to analyze what they want, what they consider positive, and what they are not willing to accept. And, of course, during the experimentation process, they may change their minds!
Self-knowledge is essential because, without recognizing your own limits and motivations , it is difficult to find realistic expectations, guarantee self- esteem in place and negotiate the “contract clauses”. Giving up yourself, to please the other, inevitably brings a lot of pain and frustration . You don’t have to be in an open relationship to know that. Any human relationship faces the same risk.
Points that need to be thought about before opening the relationship
First, the couple must make sure they understand open relationships in the same way. It is necessary to listen and speak with maturity and transparency. Before practice, theory needs to be well resolved. Is it just sex or can partners allow themselves other levels of involvement? Acquaintances, ex-boyfriends, mutual friends are part of the list of possibilities or are they veto? Does the non-exclusivity pact apply every day of the week, anywhere or, for example, is it restrict to travel times?
As long as both are not sure of what they want to live and what they consider healthy to allow the other, it is better not to move forward.
The theory may prove to be flawed. Therefore, communication needs to be active and continuous. Adjustments can be consent. And it is even allow to come to the conclusion that the open relationship is not working! After all, no relationship comes with guarantees of success.
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When the open relationship doesn’t work
The advantages of an open relationship are tempting: greater freedom for desire (without guilt), enormous complicity between the couple, break from routine, psychological maturity, absence of the ghost of traditional betrayal…However, none of this will happen if the couple’s opening to new partners is motivate. By a crisis, an attempt to “save” the courtship or marriage. The name of this is snare .
Including others is not the answer when there are disagreements, burnout or disappointments. It cannot be an excuse for postponing an end. If two are not satisfied, it is even unfair to expect a third party to take care of bringing happiness .